handy little tools

I've never been the type to carry a pocket knife, or one of those fancy stainless steel multi tools that you wear on your belt, if you're the type to wear a belt that is. But I admire people who do, and I sometimes imagine that i might be that sort of person one day- But so far anyway, i don't think i am. Typically when I'm faced with an urgent need for a special tool that's not immediately at hand i tend to improvise. For instance, I've been known (on occasion) to use a rock or handy brick in place of a hammer. The best improvising i think i ever did was fixing a broken down British roadster on the side of mountain pass with a hair curler i found lying in the dirt on the shoulder, but that is a different story.

Back to pocket knives. I was stuck by the usefulness of a carrying a pocket knife, in particular a Swiss Army knife just the other morning. My buddy Rod and I were loading some lumber at the local yard when Rod got a doosey of a sliver in his hand whilst passing the 2x8 x10s on to the roof of my truck. Before i could say, ouch, let me take a look at that, he had his mini Swiss Army knife (a cute little red one) out of his pocket, had located the tweezers implement, and pulled the sharp splinter from his palm. Wow, i thought, pretty impressive tool, maybe i should carry one of those thingies.

Merely a half hour later we were at another construction supply house, (I like to call the depot), getting a couple of sheets of green steel roofing. I have been working with steel roofing (in length's up to 20') for many years now, and I've never gotten a more than a nick or pesky scratch from the materials dangerously sharp edges. However never only last so long, and on this particular morning my never was about to become a once. Allow me to explain how this happened, First of all, If you have ever been to the lumber isle of The Depot, or Lowe's for that matter, you no doubt have used one of those heavy steel carts they have there for moving big materials around the store, up to the checker, and out to your vehicle. that morning I loaded a couple 3' wide, 12' long pieces of steel roofing onto one of those carts and moved it carefully toward check out. You see, with the roofing on the cart, you can no longer see or touch the cart directly . You must push the roofing in order to push the cart. It's a little tricky (especially with 12' sheets, the cart is only about 4' long) None the less it can be done. You just have to go slow, and push gently so as to avoid pushing the sheets of roofing off the cart altogether. No problem, I have done it a dozen of times or more.

Having made it safely to the check out counter we made the mistake of asking for a small discount due to the fact that all the 12' roofing pieces in stock had a small dent on one end and we had no choice but to take two of them. With a manager's consent (by phone), the discount was approved, but the checker who's name tag read TRAINEE in large letters could not figure out how to apply the 10% discount to our charges. After waiting respectfully for several minutes while she looked around anxiously hoping to gain eye contact with another manager who might help her through the process, I suggested we give the discount a miss, we were costing ourselves more per minute with the both of us standing there than the puny discount justified. Impatient with the situation, I suggested that Rod take the roofing out to the truck and begin loading it while i would continue to wait a minute more--Of course once Rod had gotten the roofing out to the waiting truck, the checker said she'd need the roofing back in the store so that she could rescan the sticker, I rolled my eyes and went outside to retrieve it. Rod was still busy loading some smaller items and had not yet taken steel roofing off the cart. Cleverly, I tried to get a sticker off the roofing to avoid having to push the cart anywhere again, but it was no luck it was too stuck.

Feeling the pressure of time going by and anxious to get to work, I cursed under my breath, got behind the cart and reluctantly pushed the roofing back through the automatic doors toward the smiling checker waiting with scanner in hand. Unfortunately I was less gentle with my pushing and as i cornered toward the counter the long heavy sheets went sliding across the cart surface and headed for the floor. Being a sporty type person who'd try to catch a piece of toast with my foot if it fell off the counter at home- peanut butter covered or not, I instinctively jumped to the side of the cart and threw my leg out into the path of the falling metal. My quickness paid off and I was able to break it's fall and avoid denting it further, but i did so with my shin and unfortunately I was wearing shorts at the time. It really didn't hurt much, just sort of a stinging smack on the shin, maybe because there aren't as many nerve endings per sq. inch on one's shin and arguably steel roofing is somewhat sharper than say a 2x4, something I'm a bit more accustomed to getting smacked with. Next thing i know as the checker was re-scanning the USB sticker I feel a wetness running down toward my ankle. Looking down to see what it was, i thought to myself, jeez... that's a pretty nasty cut. Hey Rod... I said calmly, ...why don't you finish up here while i go out to the truck to stop this bleeding. Huh... sure, okay he responded.

A few minutes later Rod came out to the truck where I was sitting reclined with my foot elevated out the window listing to Miles Davis on the truck stereo, the bleeding had stopped quite suddenly on it's own. Are you okay....? he said ...experiencing any mild shock...? No, I'm fine I responded cheerfully wondering about the lack of bleeding. Let me take a look at that... he said, hmm... now that's not funny is it.. he said in his comforting Canadian way examining the cut. Stitches? i asked apprehensively, Yes, he replied with certainty. Crap! I really just want to go to work not to the E.R. I complained. Well... he pondered ...we could get some butterfly bandages and gauze at the Rite Aid...I nodded yes begining to feel a little weird. Why don't i drive, he suggested, and off we went. After the 10 minute ride and a brief passage into and out of mild shock, Rod finally came out of the drug store with nearly $20 worth of medical items. ...I'll need to cut the hair off you shin in order to get these bandages to stay put, he explained as he pulled out his Swiss Army knife. Go ahead doctor.. I encouraged. By the way, did we get the discount on the roofing, I asked him feeling more normal again. Nine dollars- he said, apparently the checker had told him it was a very good thing that we waited around and all to get that discount do to the fact that it was so much. Yes, I agreed sarcastically, it'll cover better than half the costs of the first aid equipment needed to get through the process. Rod smiled and clipped on with the nifty mini scissors tool, just one of the handy instruments on his Swiss Army knife he kept in his pocket that I have seen him use a hundred times. I thought to myself, damn those are handy little tools, maybe I should get one.